all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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