The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize