hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
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normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
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