I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
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You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
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The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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