Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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