at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize