I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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