I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize