So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
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Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
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I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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