cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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