He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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