i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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