Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize