So drunk its hurt
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize