On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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