I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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