yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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