you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
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First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
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On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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