no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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