Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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