how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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