Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
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i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
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You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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