3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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