we have pet lesbian snakes
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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