Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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