don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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