My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
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we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
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How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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