i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize