i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize