i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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