I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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