Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize