If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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