guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Help. Why am I so naked?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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