Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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