I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize