I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well I just put wine in my tea
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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