lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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