please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize