Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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