Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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