During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize