I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
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There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
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You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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