Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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