Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize