Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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