I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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