i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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