office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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