I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
well most of my day revolves around power hour
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize